Archive for the ‘PSAs’ Category

Stimulus Check

September 26, 2012

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A.. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it..

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ….

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs..

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ,Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,Honduras and Guatemala …

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea …

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could

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Gainfully Employed

October 8, 2011

Back in the workforce.  It was a nice summer sleeping in, sitting by the pool drinking beer and smoking Padron 4000 maduros, but all good things must come to an end…

Mrs. Lowe got tired of waking me up so she could make the bed and having to make daily trips to the recycling center to cash in beer cans for grocery money.

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The good news is I am back in the blogging business too.  The bad news is that, due to the requirements of my new job, I will only be posting once a week or so.  Mark your calendars.  I know you can’t wait…

Biblical Teachings…

June 3, 2011

Biblical teachings

Coincidence?

January 5, 2011

First, there’s this:

More than 1,000 dead birds fall from sky in Ark.

A dead bird lies on Skylark Street in Beebe, ...

Then this:

Hundreds of blackbirds fall from sky over Louisiana

dead birds louisiana

And then this:

Dead Birds Fall From Sky In Sweden, Millions Of Dead Fish Found In Maryland, Brazil, New Zealand

 

Sweden Dead Birds

 

 

Ummm – helllooooo!  It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figger this out folks! Look below the fold!

(more…)

Curtis does some ‘splainin’

November 19, 2010

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More than 45 million Americans, or 20 percent of U.S. adults, had some form of mental illness last year, and 11 million had a serious illness, U.S. government researchers reported on Thursday.

Young adults aged 18 to 25 had the highest level of mental illness at 30 percent, while those aged 50 and older had the lowest, with 13.7 percent, said the report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration or SAMHSA…

Cue my buddy Nunya to school me on correlation vs. causality, but I don’t care.  You and I both know I’m right, right?

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DDG 109

November 17, 2010

ATLANTIC OCEAN (May 20, 2010) The Pre-Commissioning Unit (PCU) Jason Dunham (DDG 109) conducts sea trials in the Atlantic Ocean. Jason Dunham successfully completed a combined builder’s and acceptance "super trial" during four days at sea. The ship is in Ft. Lauderdale for her commissioning on Nov. 13. The ship is named after U.S. Marine Cpl. Jason Dunham, who was mortally wounded by insurgents in Iraq in April 2004 and posthumously received the Medal of Honor January 11, 2007.

(Photo courtesy of General Dynamics Bath Iron Works)

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Top of the Food Chain…

October 25, 2010

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So you think money is the root of all Evil?

October 16, 2010

Today’s PSA

October 5, 2010

northerndelight:via

Damn Right…

September 22, 2010


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