Dear Civilians, We know that the current state of affairs in our great
nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.
For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a
few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest – kick their ass.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many
sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold
them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you
were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling
others that you used to be ‘Special Forces,’ and collecting GI Joe
memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now,
it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, ‘Do
you fly a jet?’ Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such
ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard ‘non-military’ ,
inform them of their mistake – and kick their ass.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
carrying her – of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a
8. Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We
are Americans, and we all bleed the same, r egardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In- Chief
(CinC). The President (for those who didn’t know) is our CinC
regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens
inside those big important buildings where all those representatives
meet All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up
the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If
you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get
your ass kicked!
9. ‘Your mama wears combat boots’ never made sense to me – stop saying
it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick
10. bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying ‘Let’s
go kill those Commies!’ And stop asking us where he is! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me- if you
see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I
can go kick their ass!
11. ‘Flyboy’ (Air Force), ‘Jarhead’ (Marines), ‘Grunt’ (Army), ‘Squid’
(Navy), ‘Puddle Ju mpers’ (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we
use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you
have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their
families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every
day. Without them, our country would get it’s ass kicked.’