You Bastiges!

You lazy Hollywood asholes are creatively bankrupt.  You haven’t had an original thought in 10 years.  This is why I don’t go to the theater any more (well this and – you know, people).

First, You “re-make” Planet of The Apes with Marky Mark in Charleton Heston’s role. No!!!! 

Then I hear you’re “re-making” Escape from New York – a 1980s classic.  Now who in the hell can carry off the role of Snake Plisskin better than Kurt Russell?!?  That’s the only Kurt Russell film I can watch where this doesn’t pop into my head.

And I also read where you’re doing a re-make of Death Wish with Rocky/Rambo/Judge Dredd/Tango in Charles Bronson’s role.  Really?  Was that necessary?

I was willing to forgive you for The A-Team and Karate Kid because, really, who gives a shit?

But now…now you have blasphemed on the highest order.  The depths of your depravity can sink no lower…You narcissistic, puerile egomaniacs actually thought you could improve on this?!?!??!??!

 

 

And you geniuses, you mental giants – this is your cast?

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Jeff Bridges Is Rooster Cogburn- December 25, 2010

Photo: Paramount Pictures Paramount has just released the above first look at Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld in Joel and Ethan Coen’s True Grit which co-stars Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper and Paul Rae.

What?!?!?! What kind of acid trip did you have to be on to cast The Big Lebowski as Rooster Cogburn?

And that ain’t all.  You want to see the cherry on top of the cake?  Check below the fold.

Aaaaiiiiieeeeeeeaaahhhhh!!!!!

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2 Responses to “You Bastiges!”

  1. stevec Says:

    My friend, we are witnessing what may be the end of western civilization. That level of sheer dumbassery could not exist in a viable civilization. I for one, just can’t wait to see Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn agonizing over his inner conflicts and whether his mommy hugged him enough as he tries to decide whether to shoot the bad guy or to try to rehabilitate him because it’s society’s fault that he made unfortunate life choices…you know, like Bridges does every time he’s given a speaking role.

    On a related note, the South Park episode about Lucas and Spielberg raping Indiana Jones comes to mind.

  2. Joe Says:

    Jeff Bridges ain’t John Wayne. That is all I have to say on that.

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