In an effort to make air travel safer but less appealing, the TSA has begun using an "enhanced" pat-down procedure for those who would rather not subject themselves to a full-body scan. And if you’re a fan of having strangers touch you all over, then you should just get straight in line for this one…
…unlike the antiquated pat-down, which required TSA screeners to use the back of their hands when searching sensitive regions of your person — the enhanced pat-down allows them to use their palms and fingers to feel and prod passengers.
One traveler who got the deluxe treatment at Logan sums it up thusly: "If anybody ever groped me like that in real life, I would have punched them in their nose."
"TSA" – From now on I’m going to refer to it as the “Testicle Squeezing Authority."